Dear Diary · Everything

12:15 AM

Dear diary,

The only thing I know is that I want to be Happy. I don’t know how to make that happen. I don’t even know what Happy really means. I smile and laugh a lot. Am I Happy? I’m surrounded by great family and friends. Does that mean I should be Happy?

I don’t know what it is about people who try to define Happy. You can’t. Well, you can for yourself. But you can’t for others. Happiness is objective. So I don’t appreciate it when people say “You should be Happy.” I can’t force an emotion.

I’m grateful, but I don’t think I would say Happy. I want to be, but I don’t know if I can. It’s so hard to write this because I feel so ashamed of how I feel. I feel like my feelings are invalid. There are people who would beg to be in the position I am now. So what is it? How can you have such a blessed life and yet still not be Happy?

xoxo,

A.M.

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