XVI || Be #1

I’m so glad people know what’s best for me more than I do…

Obviously that was sarcasm. I hate that people think they know what’s best for me. I don’t mind people giving their advice to me, but basically forcing me to do what they think is best it just not okay.

I want to live my life the way I want and I want to make mistakes. That’s how I’ll learn the ways of life. There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes and I hate when people tell me they’re trying to “save me from making a huge mistake.” I mean what if that huge mistake teaches me a very valuable lesson and makes me a stronger person than before? Who’s to say that’s a huge mistake?? Maybe that’s the right mistake.

Life is about trial and error. If you don’t try anything, how are you gonna know for yourself? Constantly living through what other people tell you 1. Is exhausting and 2. Steals your experiences.

There are things that are very helpful in life, like higher education, running everyday, eating healthy every meal. Things that, yes, will make you a better or healthier person. But if it doesn’t make you happy what’s the point? If it’s like pulling teeth out to go to class and causes you to be depressed, what’s the point?? If you’re going mad because you don’t allow yourself a cheat day, what’s the point!!

People forget about the most important kind of health. Mental health. If you’re waking up everyday waiting for it to be your last, who cares about that teacher who said go to college, that nutritionist who said eat salads?? Drop out. Eat cake. Be happy. I mean obviously don’t just forget about your goals and dreams, but enjoy the journey. If it doesn’t work for you, change it according to what will work for you, but what others think will work.

My biggest pressures probably come from my parents. They expect me to be this certain kind of person, to at least achieve this certain education level. “This certain” being “the best” is not really “the best.” Maybe for them. That’s what they want, not me. They never took in consideration of what I want/don’t want. “You’ll look back and be thankful we pushed you.” Will I? Will I look back and thank you for all the times I cried myself to sleep? For all the times, I felt nothing inside, like I was a robot just following orders. Will I look back and be thankful I felt like I was in a living hell so that YOU could be happy. Huh… I think fucking not.

Moral of this whole spiel: Do what makes you happy. As cliché as that sounds, I wanted to be cliché so I’m doing it. Make mistakes, experience life, get to know yourself. Live for you.

-A.M.


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