Everything · Thoughts

Wake Up

I’m tired. Both physically and mentally.

I’m tired all of the time. I wake up in the morning wishing I could live in my dreams. I sleep for 6 hours and I’m tired. I sleep for 8 hours and I’m still tired. So I’ll sleep for 10 hours and I’m exhausted. I get enough sleep, but I live through a constant state of tiredness.

I think I’m mistaken. I don’t think it’s tiredness that I’m feeling. I’m feeling tired of being sad.  When I’m sleeping I’m happy so I just want to go there. I want to go to my dreams and feel happiness and feel love. I don’t want to be in this living and breathing world at the moment.

I get excited when I go to sleep. All day long I think about going to bed or taking a nap. I know once I do that, it’s like the outside world is gone and it’s just me and my dreams. Sleeping for me is like Disneyland for a little kid. I know once I get there I’m gonna be at the “Happiest Place on Earth.”

Waking up is where the sadness is coming from. I have an amazing dream life and then I wake up to the life I have now. Which is still very blessed, but there’s something missing from it and only my dreams are able to show me. So everyday, I want to go there and experience it.

So now I’m gonna say goodbye so I can go dream. So I can be happy. So I can see what I’m missing.

And I wish that one day I realize I’m not sleeping.

-A.M.

 

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